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A TALE OF NOT SO EVIL
Based on the prologue of “Matt the Hatt”

By Ryan Polito

 

    One spooky Halloween night in the village called Bombang, all the kids were going Trick or Treating. Everyone was having fun. Well, almost everyone. On the other side of town lived an evil scientist named Dr. Whammster, in a big stone castle named Whammster Castle. Here, thunder and lightning would crack every five minutes. Dr. Whammster was almost ten feet tall with a black jacket and hood to go with his vampire outfit that he wore in combination. His face was basically round and featureless with pig ears.
    Dr. Whammster didn’t seem happy. It looked like he was waiting impatiently for something. “Master! Master!” a voice called out. Then popped a weird hat creature with a crayon on the top of his hat. This “hat creature” was none other than Matt the Hatt. Matt was a clumsy oaf with a five-foot tophat covering his entire body, except for his bare feet that stuck out of the bottom and glasses up top for eyes.
    “Master! Master! I’ve got what you wanted!” he said. What he was holding was a yellow-ish crayon he gathered from off his hat.
    Dr. Whammster slapped his head and grunted. “You clumsy oaf! I said a magic wand, not the color blonde.” Dr. Whammster stomped his feet one by one. “How am I supposed to create life on my creations without a magic wand”, he screamed. “Uh, forget it. Just fetch me a tennis racket for one of my creature’s hands.”
    “Yes, master! I won’t forget this one,” Matt the Hatt said, sprinting away. Thunder and lightning cracked as he left.
    Matt went to a nearby gym. The basketball team was practicing there. Matt didn’t pay any attention to them and just calmly shimmied up the pole with his big bare feet and unattached one of the baskets with his screwdriver. It was shocking.
    “Hey! We need that!” one player said.
    “Sorry, guys. You’ll just have to play half-court,” Matt said as he ran along
    “Whatever,” another player mumbled.
    Matt the Hatt ran back to the castle to Dr. Whammster. He found him next to a smoldering fireplace. “Master! Master!” he called. “I’ve got what you wanted this time.”
    “You idiot! I said a tennis racket, not a basketball basket. How am I supposed to use that?” Dr. Whammster threw the basket aside and stomped away grumbling while Matt the Hatt sighed.
    Dr. Whammster thought for a moment…

    Two hours later, he went back to Matt. “I’m going to give you one last chance, you dope.” Dr. Whammster stared at Matt with a big red eye. Matt gulped. “Fetch me a head of a dentist,” Dr. Whammster yelled.
    “Yes, master. I won’t fail this one.” Matt began walking toward the big twelve-foot front door.
    “Wait! Separate one of the eyes with a knife. Here, take this one.” Dr. Whammster strolled into a dark corner while Matt the Hatt fled the castle.
    “At least I won’t have to go to the graveyard and dig out something like a dentist’s head and a separated eye,” Matt said to himself. “I’ll just go to the grocery store.” And Matt the Hatt went to the grocery store to buy a head of lettuce and banana cream pie. Then, he went back to the castle.
    It was getting dark out and Matt couldn’t see while trying to get to the castle. So he crossed by a bridge. “To entertain myself along the way, I think I’ll dance,” Matt thought to himself, and started dancing and humming while knocking citizens in the pond. “GAAAAH! WAAAAAH! YAAAAAAH!” the poor citizens scrambled as Matt strolled along. When Matt arrived at the castle, Dr. Whammster was finishing up his creations to rule over BomBang. “Master! Master! I’m back with the supplies,” Matt said.
    “Oh. Surprise, surprise,” Dr. Whammster mumbled.
    “Here are your items, Master,” Matt said, handing them to Dr. Whammster.
    Dr. Whammster looked over the bundle and said sarcastically, “Hey! It’s exactly what I wanted.”
    “Really?” Matt said surprisingly.
    “No!” Dr. Whammster yelled as his fake smile disappeared. “You IDIOT! I said a head of a dentist and a separate eye. Not a head of lettuce and banana cream pie.”
    Matt the Hatt walked away sadly. But then, his big feet stepped on each other and Matt fell, letting go of the pie and lettuce. Wham! It hit Dr. Whammster right in the face. First, the pie, then lettuce for decoration. Dr. Whammster steamed like a boiling pot of water.
    “Ohh. You did NOT WANT TO DO THAT!”
    Dr. Whammster charged faster than a rhino, and sprinted after Matt the Hatt. Matt had no choice but to flee the castle grounds. Dr. Whammster chased him like there was no tomorrow. The evil scientist was now a mad scientist as he chased Matt like lightning throughout and all around the castle, nearly destroying it.
    Then, destroyed it. Everything was ruined. Spilled and broken pieces all over. Even Dr. Whammster died during the scuffle. The only one who made it was Matt. And now he had no home to go to. Eventually he found a nearby bridge. Matt the Hatt got to work on a sign and put it up. It read, “MATT BRIDGE”.
The end.

 

    “And that’s how the cartoon Matt the Hatt began,” Whammy said. Whammy was a child piglet with a blue shirt and grey shorts. He’s followed by his friends, an orange-striped tiger named Tennis, a grizzly bear with a red t-shirt named Pooky, and another child piglet with a navy blue shirt named Sammy. Sammy is Whammy’s brother, but has a big nose.
    “I have a question, Whammy,” Pooky asked. “Is Matt the Hatt real?”
    “Probably in another world – not this one,” Whammy answered whimsically.


    Meanwhile at Matt Bridge, there was Matt, trying to find a friend, as always.

Matt Bridge

 

-THE END-

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